My little Men

These are my two little boys!!! Unfortunately my my little boy past away in Janauary. But they are my little loves!!!

We managed to go to the semi-final at Newlands too, which was great! The Stomers won and are now in the final of the Super 14.


We also went out dancing on Saturday night with an old friend, was great fun. I even got to sokkie which I have not done in ages!! Sokkie is a South African Afrikaans dance style! Lots and lots of fun!! Dance floor was abit small!!





Now it's back to work! I'm off tomorrow and Wednesday!!

Rugby

Rugby has been part of my life since before I was born!

I love it!

I am a born and bred Western Province and Stomers supporter.

When we lived in Cape Town we used to go to every game at Newlands.

Now living in Hermanus we do not get to go as often. But we are lucky enough to be going to

the Stormers vs the Bulls game on Saturday.

So exciting, it is such a big match.

Winter is here

I have been very scarce for a while now. Just been a bit like not sure where I belong.

Well our winter is here is South Africa. And today is a perfect example of it. It is very windy, cold and raining! Perfect weather for staying in bed doing nothing, watching movies or reading a book. But I can't do any of that as I am sitting at work. And on the one day I would like no guests we actually do have guests. And they are having lunch here. The one good thing is we have a chef trying out for us and so she is cooking and not me! I can hide in the office with the underfloor heating on!

Well this one took awhile to finish!!

Started it like ages ago and then have not been back to finish it! Sorry.

Well yes winter is here, it is cold and wet and VERY windy today but it's ok. I rather like winter!!

Exciting news, we are going home for the weekend! Can't wait. We leave tomorrow afternoon, hopefully early! And we are going to watch the Stormers/Bulls super14 game at Newlands on Saturday. It's my Bf's stepsisters birthday tomorrow and so we are going out for supper with the family and then going out to a club with her friends afterwards. I have invited some of our friends to join us for a drink! Hope we can see some of them!

So looking forward to this weekend, I think it is just what we need. There is an exciting event that could also come from this weekend, I will know on Saturday for sure! Will keep you posted!

One of my favourite quotes!

Sunset

I just thought you might like to see one of my interest at work. I love taking photographs and this is one of mine. What do you think?

Frustration Building

Feeling very frustrated today. Maybe because I have not been on my blog for a while allowing myself to express myself. But I think it has also to do with my work and where I am headed in life.

My BF has so many things he wants to do and they are all possible, he must just do them!

I on the other hand feel like I am drowning in uncertainty about where I am meant to be or what I am suppose to be doing with my life.

One thing is for sure it is not at the guesthouse! It is slowly driving me insane and I can feel myself cracking! I had abit of a melt down on Friday night. Over tired and very emotional!!

Where do I belong in this life? I feel as if this is a never to be answered question at this point.

Feel like I have no direction! Need some guidance but don't know who to turn to!

I came to a realisation last night before getting into bed, my frustration is not only with work and all it's issues it is also to do with the fact that I feel my life is stuck. It feels like we have not moved on since we arrived in this town two years ago. I had this idea of where I would have liked to have been by now and we are not there and that in itself is a frustration for me. But I am feeling much brighter this morning. I will no longer wait for something to happen I have decided to take control and do things for myself.

Even if it means moving home without my bf. I feel that if it does come to that it will push him in the right direction in terms of making a decision about his career and where he wants to be.

Life is not always fair like that, I never wanted to leave here without him but if that is what I need to do for myself and us then it will have to happen! Lets hope it doesn't cause I will miss him so badly.

I have been trying to work out what my blog should be about. Whether it should focus on one topic or whether just about my life in general. I think life in general and all aspects of my interest. Which at the moment are very limited due to my current situation with work. But I am determined to change that.

Well enough moaning now, time to move on to the positive!

???????

Yesterday was a long day! Worked most of the day on my own and then still had to cook dinner for guests too!!! But my gorgeous bf got the movie Julie and Julia, been wanting to watch it since before it came out!

It was such an awesome movie! Really enjoyed it. Also showed me how much I miss having a normal life where I can cook what I want and when I want.

Work is getting to me! Do not really want to be here. Do not feel I belong here. I enjoyed it when I first started here, but a lot of things have changed since then and this is no longer where I want to be. It is now time to leave! I get stuck with all the shit and no one cares or even seems to see it!!!

Why should anyone bother about me!

I do my best but it never seems to be good enough! I am the one that always does everything by the book and feels bad about asking for something but why should I when the rest of the world just does as they please regardless of anyone else!!!! Why must I play by the rules when no one else is?

Thank goodness the guests are eating out tonight! Small blessings! Will just tell the other guests that still have to check in that unfortunately the chef is sick and there will be no dinner tonight.

Now I can sit in front of the TV tonight and do nothing! I need to get my thoughts in order and decide what my next move in life will be!

Do I stick it out until my bf finds other work or do I make the move first? The problem is what happens if I get a really nice job and then he finds a awesome job on the other side of the world! I will not handle that very well. It is so confusing and frustrating, what am I suppose to do? And what line of work should I be looking at? I don't want to get stuck in another boring job where I do all the work and get nothing back!

Will just have to keep my eyes open and keep thinking!