???????

Yesterday was a long day! Worked most of the day on my own and then still had to cook dinner for guests too!!! But my gorgeous bf got the movie Julie and Julia, been wanting to watch it since before it came out!

It was such an awesome movie! Really enjoyed it. Also showed me how much I miss having a normal life where I can cook what I want and when I want.

Work is getting to me! Do not really want to be here. Do not feel I belong here. I enjoyed it when I first started here, but a lot of things have changed since then and this is no longer where I want to be. It is now time to leave! I get stuck with all the shit and no one cares or even seems to see it!!!

Why should anyone bother about me!

I do my best but it never seems to be good enough! I am the one that always does everything by the book and feels bad about asking for something but why should I when the rest of the world just does as they please regardless of anyone else!!!! Why must I play by the rules when no one else is?

Thank goodness the guests are eating out tonight! Small blessings! Will just tell the other guests that still have to check in that unfortunately the chef is sick and there will be no dinner tonight.

Now I can sit in front of the TV tonight and do nothing! I need to get my thoughts in order and decide what my next move in life will be!

Do I stick it out until my bf finds other work or do I make the move first? The problem is what happens if I get a really nice job and then he finds a awesome job on the other side of the world! I will not handle that very well. It is so confusing and frustrating, what am I suppose to do? And what line of work should I be looking at? I don't want to get stuck in another boring job where I do all the work and get nothing back!

Will just have to keep my eyes open and keep thinking!