???????

Yesterday was a long day! Worked most of the day on my own and then still had to cook dinner for guests too!!! But my gorgeous bf got the movie Julie and Julia, been wanting to watch it since before it came out!

It was such an awesome movie! Really enjoyed it. Also showed me how much I miss having a normal life where I can cook what I want and when I want.

Work is getting to me! Do not really want to be here. Do not feel I belong here. I enjoyed it when I first started here, but a lot of things have changed since then and this is no longer where I want to be. It is now time to leave! I get stuck with all the shit and no one cares or even seems to see it!!!

Why should anyone bother about me!

I do my best but it never seems to be good enough! I am the one that always does everything by the book and feels bad about asking for something but why should I when the rest of the world just does as they please regardless of anyone else!!!! Why must I play by the rules when no one else is?

Thank goodness the guests are eating out tonight! Small blessings! Will just tell the other guests that still have to check in that unfortunately the chef is sick and there will be no dinner tonight.

Now I can sit in front of the TV tonight and do nothing! I need to get my thoughts in order and decide what my next move in life will be!

Do I stick it out until my bf finds other work or do I make the move first? The problem is what happens if I get a really nice job and then he finds a awesome job on the other side of the world! I will not handle that very well. It is so confusing and frustrating, what am I suppose to do? And what line of work should I be looking at? I don't want to get stuck in another boring job where I do all the work and get nothing back!

Will just have to keep my eyes open and keep thinking!

A Monday....

Well, today holds new promise!

The possibility of new things to come. The possibility of a new start, a possibility of a better way of life. But which will it be, one or the other or maybe even both?

I am finding that quotes help to inspire and motivate me.

Today's quote is:

" No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed." - Harold MacMillan

I feel today is going to be a better day, that I can cope and maybe put in place the changes that need to be made!!!!

The waiting continues, life around me carries on and I have to pretend to carry on with it but really I am stuck in a moment waiting to hear what the answer will be! It's so exciting and scary at the same time! The options that lie ahead are calling to me, teasing me with the possibilities that each option brings with it. The good and the bad!

I have a feeling of what is to come and what I would like to come but I can't be sure. I have learned the hard way to never get too excited with a possibility as it can disappear as quickly as it came about.

Well the waiting continues.....

Another day

Another day started but unfortunately it did not bring the news we were waiting for(yet). Only started work at 2pm but the motivation is not there. Feeling uninterested and ready to pack up.
Wonder when they will make the announcement????
Why is everything always so drawn out! But will the decision be the one we really want to hear?

Being back home this last week made me and my bf realise how much we really miss it!
Miss the parentals, the siblings, the cousins, the woofies and the friends! I think it is sometimes worse because we don't really stay that far away(only an hour and half drive) but it is too far to go back as often as we would like to. Maybe if when you stay really far away it's not too bad because then you know you can't go home so easily.

I don't now where I should be anymore! I feel like I'm in the wrong job but I can't decide where I should be! What is my purpose in life? Surely not just to wander from one job to the next feeling useless and unimportant! I want to feel like I'm making a small difference to people's lives and I don't think I am doing it where I am now!

A cold Saturday at work!

Ok so now that this is all set up! Lets get started for real!!!

Sitting at work! While the rest of my normal family and friends are off enjoying their Saturday! My Bf and I are not part of the normal one in this respect. Our jobs get us working strange long hours and random days off!!! But it's the life we chose and at this point in time is still working for us. The only thing not really working is being so far from our families that we can't see them as often as we would like.
But that might all chance after this weekend! So will have to wait and see!

Work is rather boring today which is making this far worse! There is a wedding happening here today so there is not really much work for me to do. Well there is work but I do not feel like doing it now! So will use the wedding as an excuse I suppose!

Would much rather be at home under the duvet watching a movie(It's rather chilly here). The sun is shining at the moment but the wind is freezing!!!!

<3

Starting up!

Well, I have now made my own blog!!!

Lets start with who I am and where I have been!

My name is Nicole, friends and family call me Nix.

I am 25 years old, living in Hermanus with my boyfriend!

We have been here for just over two years now.

We were living in Cape Town before moving to Hermanus. So big difference from big city life to small town living!!!

Well this is a start!!!